Disgusted and Painfully Ashamed.

my screams were drowned nowhere, my fights were useless against demons, yet I didn’t give up, but my body did.


I wish we were free…

It’s nearly 2020, yet we girls, teenagers, women, mothers are struggling for equality, rights, respect, freedom, space and what not…
As known from the news, Priyanka Reddy from Hyderabad, India was brutally gang-raped and burnt alive by four demons. And still, we are fighting for her justice. I mean, that’s so shameful for our government, whoΒ  have to think even twice for justice to her.

But then, nature played its role and served justice, if not by the government. Those inhuman demons were shot by the Hyderabad police during the police-thief chase, recently before 2-3 days and justice had to be served, which is in itself to be pondered upon, as the government didn’t act upon it but the police officers’ instinct did.

She was just wearing her daily clothes, nothing vulgar or attracting, and she was on her way home. And she was a doctor.

Although, I’m here to talk about the response the country had to this shameful, weeping incident.
If unity had to be seen in India, it was after the news of the incident flew like gossip across the country.
Indians were raging for justice, women were on warpath for justice for Priyanka Reddy, justice for women, which also gave an uproar to the fact, originally conveyed, confessed and uproared by Saloni Chopra – @redheadwayfarer on Instagram,

No woman wants to be India’s fucking daughter.
It didn’t seem wrong to convey that and IT STILL DOESN’T SEEM TO BE. Because we ARE ashamed to be called India’s daughter, who has to keep looking back whether she’s safe outside her house or not, or her location is to be known to at least one friend of hers of wherever she might be or SHE SHOULD DRESS APPROPRIATELY CONSIDERING THAT INDIANS THINK THAT IT’S A TRAP FOR THE BOYS AND MEN TO BE AROUSED.

WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE GIRLS THAT HAS TO MAKE DIFFERENCES AROUND ACCORDING TO MEN??? OR WHY THE UPBRINGING OF WOMEN HAS TO BE CUSTOMIZED AND NOT OF MEN??? WHY AREN’T MEN GIVEN/TAUGHT BOUNDARIES/LIMITS OR TAUGHT TO GIVE RESPECT TO ANY GENDER WHATSOEVER???

But no, stereotypical Indians are so upon men that they forgot to teach respect, manners, behavior or anything such to men like these and incidents like these take root and THERE HAVE been numerous incidents like these before.

I’VE been a victim related to this. Four times. Once, I was sexually groped byΒ  a neighbor but I got away and somehow handled the whole situation. Another was, a music teacher from one of my schools, Subhash asked for sexual favours on chat, saying ‘it’s happy feeling’ and I blocked him for life. The second time was, I was asked for sexual favours from a cousin, who lives downstairs on Instagram and harassed for this for two days. I spoke about this to my mother and we confronted his parents, who got saved from getting killed by his father. Next was, again about groping in a crowded train, but this was so embarrassing to me because I was so shy to fight against the man. He was onto me and I kicked him many times and protected myself, but yet he was stubborn but then the other passengers of the train saw this and banished him from there and I was saved. The fourth time was I was asked for ‘sexy pics’ from a classmate named Fahim from my school on Facebook and I blocked him and I talked about this incident to my close friends.

I’m ashamed. So disgustingly ashamed. Ashamed to be called India’s daughter.

I just wish I was free. Wish we were free.


Β© priaranderi

9 thoughts on “Disgusted and Painfully Ashamed.

  1. Delhi. Hyderabad. Unnao.
    All horrific incidents that shook the conscience of the nation. But what the Hyderabad cops did might satisfy and appease the public anger and sentiment, it was not justice. It was revenge and an indictment of the faith of the public in the judicial process.
    We were demanding stronger laws in 2012. In 2019, we are doing the same. The problem is not with the law. The problem is with the societal mores and the attitude of the policing system towards implementation. It is time we demand bringing in police and judicial reforms for a speedy resolution of trials. From trial court to the Supreme court. We need to put forth this demand rather than sounding like a broken tape recorder always asking for stronger laws.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly… But it always feels like we’re failing because we aren’t able to look at any progress here…. It just gets worse. And you know what, it’s gonna take hell of a long time, only for these stereotypes to be banished. And the fight willl always be on till we get what we need. It’s a long fight. The longest. Thanks for giving it a read.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes. We are an ironic society in many ways. Culturally and legally.
        We extol the virtues and position of women in society through the prism of religion yet we bind women down and cast a shadow of doubt character if a woman does behave accoording to stereotypes engendered into society.
        On the other hand there is a clarion call for equality. We talk about being more accepting of sexual identites. But one half of the population does not have legal recourse if the crimes of rape, harassment, stalking are committed against them.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Exactly! We abandoned humanity in the process and the stupid fact is this stereotypical circle is still on and it’s gonna be years to be where we wanna see ourselves to be in. And why would one have a legal recourse? Our judiciary system is on its most insulting point, where cases are pending, where justice is earned after a lifetime… Who believes in that kind of system. And do you know, this very same Priyanka Reddy case was nearly ignored by the Hyderabad police when they were contacted to file this case? And the money overflow from people’s pockets just for some justice? Yes, this highly affects a person’s life, his income and etc. Just from a case. Only the rich could be able to afford such ‘luxuries’. So yes, for one thing to be made correct, everyone related to has to come to line. Everyone has to contribute, everyone has to be AWARE, everyone will have to donate their time, their understanding and etc. So yes, this is a long fight and it’s gonna take years and years. Coz it’s not easy as everything’s fucked up in order for shameful, disgusting incidents like these to be happened ON A DAILY BASIS IN INDIA.

          Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m just ashamed about what the female gender is going through and goes through everyday in our country. It’s not easy being a woman in India. And we keep on fighting, but yet it’s not enough, we don’t win…but we sure are proud enough of what we are, and we will keep on fighting till we reach where we need to be. Thank you so much for the motivation. Really means a lot to me. ❀❀❀❀❀

      Liked by 1 person

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